There's a lot I've been learning since I've been home, and it's only been two short weeks.
But then again, those two short weeks have taken an abnormally long time to pass*.
I've learned that those who care undeniably for you will be at your side when you need them the most - regardless of schedules, distances, or even prior engagements. It's amazing how many things the human conscious takes for granted; a bed to sleep on, a brace to rely on, and people to love on.
It's not a job that comforts you when you're down, or celebrates when you're up. It's not a job that will get you through the day, or provide the warmth of touch at night. It's not a job - it's an excuse. It's not a lifestyle - it's an excuse. It's not that you don't care but you just can't get to it - it's an excuse.
And that's how you begin to lose somebody.
CourtReplies
*Many ANTM marathons later.
Showing posts with label sexy good times. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sexy good times. Show all posts
Monday, June 28, 2010
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
Oh Hot Damn, This is My Jam.
I was told to write a post on my past weekend experiences, and have found great trouble in doing so.
It's not because it isn't worth writing about, the fact that my room screams emptiness, or simply due to my lackadaisical mindset; Even my current enjoyment of dark chocolate pretzel bark isn't keeping me from typing furiously (which would be fully understandable, if otherwise). What is however, is that I want to do it justice.
Just like any college graduate quickly thrown out onto the curb of you're-on-your-own-so-do-something-oh-and-we're-all-watching-you, I was able to cast aside the dou
bt, stress, and frugality that a simple commencement ceremony, once completed, brought upon for a smidgen of time.
I took a trip outdoors, and found a lot.
I found that you should break your boots in before hiking, I can comfortably lay face down in my sleeping bag, I'm less than mediocre at Speed, and low-and-behold a "strong current" is really, a strong current.
I also found that I finally surrendered.
There's something incredible about primitiveness and the absence of complication. With no connection to the outside world of fast-paced living and limited leg room, satisfaction came easily, trust came easily, and nothing else mattered than being with the people you were with. It's comforting, even in it's trivial state, to fall asleep under the stars and wake up with the sun, mother nature saying hello the way she knows best.
Escapes like these are so close and beneficial, yet the small amount of times they are actually ventured to seems one too few. I suppose one day I'll just find a plantation* up in the mountains and finally garner some quality air. Maybe then I'll even escape to the city - maybe not. But what I do know, is that comfort was solidified this weekend, and I can face the next couple of weeks with confidence simply by the people around me.
Pew, pew.
CourtReplies
* Oh, hello ignorance, didn't see you there.
It's not because it isn't worth writing about, the fact that my room screams emptiness, or simply due to my lackadaisical mindset; Even my current enjoyment of dark chocolate pretzel bark isn't keeping me from typing furiously (which would be fully understandable, if otherwise). What is however, is that I want to do it justice.
Just like any college graduate quickly thrown out onto the curb of you're-on-your-own-so-do-something-oh-and-we're-all-watching-you, I was able to cast aside the dou
bt, stress, and frugality that a simple commencement ceremony, once completed, brought upon for a smidgen of time.I took a trip outdoors, and found a lot.
I found that you should break your boots in before hiking, I can comfortably lay face down in my sleeping bag, I'm less than mediocre at Speed, and low-and-behold a "strong current" is really, a strong current.
I also found that I finally surrendered.
There's something incredible about primitiveness and the absence of complication. With no connection to the outside world of fast-paced living and limited leg room, satisfaction came easily, trust came easily, and nothing else mattered than being with the people you were with. It's comforting, even in it's trivial state, to fall asleep under the stars and wake up with the sun, mother nature saying hello the way she knows best.
Escapes like these are so close and beneficial, yet the small amount of times they are actually ventured to seems one too few. I suppose one day I'll just find a plantation* up in the mountains and finally garner some quality air. Maybe then I'll even escape to the city - maybe not. But what I do know, is that comfort was solidified this weekend, and I can face the next couple of weeks with confidence simply by the people around me.
Pew, pew.
CourtReplies
* Oh, hello ignorance, didn't see you there.
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
Mess With The Bull, You Get Gored.
I suppose we should call this relationship week (or month, potentially), because it's recently been brought to my attention the vast amount of individuals who are being unfaithful.
Now, in order to do your partner dirty, there needs to be a stable definition of what that exactly qualifies the notion. To some, cheating is considered as anything that you wouldn't want to tell your partner, and should they find out, drastic things may occur (such as throwing objects, hurling fists, or even the torturous silent treatment) such as ultimately ending the coupling. There's also the additive of mental vs. physical, with the prior being deemed as the greater sin. Whatever you're doing, be it emotionally attached to another or poontangin' it behind doors, stop.
First of all, I have no patience with this. I don't quite understand the point of being in a relationship if you'd rather be with someone else. Or, for that matter, why you would stay in a partnership when you feel it's a-o-k to want to find happiness elsewhere. Second of all, what's the point? Why not be reasonable, mature and end it, rather then drastically damaging your reputation and credibility, not to mention mentally impairing the spirit of the significant other. The implications that come with making the conscious (yes, conscious) decision (yes, decision, because nobody is forcing you) are usually not part of the thought process when said choice is in motion. Being inconsiderately selfish, you, cheating world, cause immense soul-bruising and potential long term effects. Moreover you've* officially fallen into the "once a cheater, always a cheater" category - welcome, I hope you enjoy your stay. Fortuantely, for those who have enough self-respect after they've been cheated on, your apologies have no effect, although your presence has a new one (and it's not positive).
When I'm with someone, it's simply because I don't want to be with anybody else. I'm with someone because I couldn't imagine, nor want to imagine, being with another individual who appreciates my sarcasm or ridiculous need to drive with my foot on the dash. I feel that the people who are unfaithful impair those that are, especially since it's so common; Relationships have diverged from a wholesome, emotionally connected theology to one that requires less juncture and more protectively egocentric dispositions. But luckily, there is hope: trust. It's a funny thing - trust. It's hard to give and easy to lose, but is an act that is vital in order to maintain a successful relationship. Trust that they're yours, you're theirs, and in that finding a sense of worth, a sense of contentment.
I feel for the people that are the victims, yet, in a twisted way I also feel for those who I've been screeching at this entire post: for their lack of mentality and concern for others. Regrettably, Darwin's natural selection hasn't quite kicked in yet, but beware.
CourtReplies
* I apologize for all the "you" references, it's not directed at you personally, unless you've cheated. Then it is.
Now, in order to do your partner dirty, there needs to be a stable definition of what that exactly qualifies the notion. To some, cheating is considered as anything that you wouldn't want to tell your partner, and should they find out, drastic things may occur (such as throwing objects, hurling fists, or even the torturous silent treatment) such as ultimately ending the coupling. There's also the additive of mental vs. physical, with the prior being deemed as the greater sin. Whatever you're doing, be it emotionally attached to another or poontangin' it behind doors, stop.
First of all, I have no patience with this. I don't quite understand the point of being in a relationship if you'd rather be with someone else. Or, for that matter, why you would stay in a partnership when you feel it's a-o-k to want to find happiness elsewhere. Second of all, what's the point? Why not be reasonable, mature and end it, rather then drastically damaging your reputation and credibility, not to mention mentally impairing the spirit of the significant other. The implications that come with making the conscious (yes, conscious) decision (yes, decision, because nobody is forcing you) are usually not part of the thought process when said choice is in motion. Being inconsiderately selfish, you, cheating world, cause immense soul-bruising and potential long term effects. Moreover you've* officially fallen into the "once a cheater, always a cheater" category - welcome, I hope you enjoy your stay. Fortuantely, for those who have enough self-respect after they've been cheated on, your apologies have no effect, although your presence has a new one (and it's not positive).
When I'm with someone, it's simply because I don't want to be with anybody else. I'm with someone because I couldn't imagine, nor want to imagine, being with another individual who appreciates my sarcasm or ridiculous need to drive with my foot on the dash. I feel that the people who are unfaithful impair those that are, especially since it's so common; Relationships have diverged from a wholesome, emotionally connected theology to one that requires less juncture and more protectively egocentric dispositions. But luckily, there is hope: trust. It's a funny thing - trust. It's hard to give and easy to lose, but is an act that is vital in order to maintain a successful relationship. Trust that they're yours, you're theirs, and in that finding a sense of worth, a sense of contentment.
I feel for the people that are the victims, yet, in a twisted way I also feel for those who I've been screeching at this entire post: for their lack of mentality and concern for others. Regrettably, Darwin's natural selection hasn't quite kicked in yet, but beware.
CourtReplies
* I apologize for all the "you" references, it's not directed at you personally, unless you've cheated. Then it is.
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
She-Wolf Meets Gypsy.
"People change and forget to tell each other."
There's a lot of experiences I still have yet to face. Comparing to the majority of individuals around me, catching up is something I've become accustomed to. Whether it's realizing dish soap isn't for the dish washer, popcorn does in fact burn, or that yes, cell phone laws do apply to me, the naivety of life somehow continues to perpetuate this exasperating notion of virginity.
And I want more.
It's almost as if there's this whole new enchantment encompassing my dogma of life, a whole new desire to come face to face with uncertainty. This thought process couldn't have been spurred at a better time, especially when I'm overtly excited to experience said mentality.
However, there are a few items I would like to bring along for the journey: an open mind, an open heart, and an unlimited supply of egg mcmuffins.
Cheers to the future.
CourtReplies
There's a lot of experiences I still have yet to face. Comparing to the majority of individuals around me, catching up is something I've become accustomed to. Whether it's realizing dish soap isn't for the dish washer, popcorn does in fact burn, or that yes, cell phone laws do apply to me, the naivety of life somehow continues to perpetuate this exasperating notion of virginity.
And I want more.
It's almost as if there's this whole new enchantment encompassing my dogma of life, a whole new desire to come face to face with uncertainty. This thought process couldn't have been spurred at a better time, especially when I'm overtly excited to experience said mentality.
However, there are a few items I would like to bring along for the journey: an open mind, an open heart, and an unlimited supply of egg mcmuffins.
Cheers to the future.
CourtReplies
Friday, April 23, 2010
Hands At The Ready.
"Are you on your period?"
This is undoubtedly one of the top questions to ask a female that will surely put her mood farther down the drain once asked. Welcome to no-mans land, ya'll.
I feel the need to redeem myself, rather, counterpoise my prior post by defending my womanhood.
Although I do have many masculine traits, I still can not help the genealogical complexity that resides among each chromosome, and tonight was a prime example; The beast was let out to play. I want to feel like I matter, even in a room barred with situational pretexts, and when I'm experiencing an emotion of unappreciativeness*, will undoubtedly analyze and wonder why I'm imagining myself on a comparable level with a sea cucumber (they exist, but no one cares**). Once I bring this negative sensation to the table, I of course have to do the apologizing. So I do, repeatedly. And this is where the line is drawn.
I don't understand the male brain sometimes, because after all, I am not - I'm a girl, sista, woman, matron, the double x. I feel that with that, I deserve the chance to be a little emotional, not want to talk, and for once in my life throw understanding to the wind. But then again, that get's us nowhere. So I'm thankfulhat it's drawn out of me, I just don't appreciate the feeling of stupidity that follows.
Moral of the story, I suppose, is that I still have to maintain my claim to femininity sometime or another. After all, if you didn't appreciate me for that quality, then you're better off surrounding yourself with testosterone.
CourtReplies
This is undoubtedly one of the top questions to ask a female that will surely put her mood farther down the drain once asked. Welcome to no-mans land, ya'll.
I feel the need to redeem myself, rather, counterpoise my prior post by defending my womanhood.
Although I do have many masculine traits, I still can not help the genealogical complexity that resides among each chromosome, and tonight was a prime example; The beast was let out to play. I want to feel like I matter, even in a room barred with situational pretexts, and when I'm experiencing an emotion of unappreciativeness*, will undoubtedly analyze and wonder why I'm imagining myself on a comparable level with a sea cucumber (they exist, but no one cares**). Once I bring this negative sensation to the table, I of course have to do the apologizing. So I do, repeatedly. And this is where the line is drawn.
I don't understand the male brain sometimes, because after all, I am not - I'm a girl, sista, woman, matron, the double x. I feel that with that, I deserve the chance to be a little emotional, not want to talk, and for once in my life throw understanding to the wind. But then again, that get's us nowhere. So I'm thankfulhat it's drawn out of me, I just don't appreciate the feeling of stupidity that follows.
Moral of the story, I suppose, is that I still have to maintain my claim to femininity sometime or another. After all, if you didn't appreciate me for that quality, then you're better off surrounding yourself with testosterone.
CourtReplies
* Fake word.
** I'm sure someone cares, someone who's not hormonal and on their period, though.
** I'm sure someone cares, someone who's not hormonal and on their period, though.
Thursday, April 15, 2010
Thursday Fight Night.
There's one concept throughout my collegiate career that has had a jaw-dropping effect. Now, it's actually a rather simple notion, so before you prepare yourself for some grandiose spiel, don't.
Written communication is different than verbal communication.
"Well, that's obvious," you might be thinking, but pre-Communication 309, this elementary sentiment was never brought up or thought upon. The more I swallow this idea, the more I realize why I prefer writing.
For example, anyone who knows me, is well aware that my foot (or gravity-defyingly* both) is usually positioned somewhere near my mouth. When you share discourse with someone words can't be taken back, nor are there opportunities for unlimited editing prior to submission.
All in all, I'm sure there's a lesson somewhere in this, such as the ruby rule "think before you speak." Or, better yet, maybe this can spur the invention of a filtration system that can be surgically installed near the connection between my brain and vocal cords. Whatever it is, I appreciate the individuals around me who continuously help to get myself out of the human pretzel position (as I am no gymnast), and being worth the dissection of prior assertions.
CourtReplies
*Apparently this suffix is incorrect, but I'm using it anyways.
Edit: I've really tried hard to steer clear of big words, really.
Written communication is different than verbal communication.
"Well, that's obvious," you might be thinking, but pre-Communication 309, this elementary sentiment was never brought up or thought upon. The more I swallow this idea, the more I realize why I prefer writing.
For example, anyone who knows me, is well aware that my foot (or gravity-defyingly* both) is usually positioned somewhere near my mouth. When you share discourse with someone words can't be taken back, nor are there opportunities for unlimited editing prior to submission.
All in all, I'm sure there's a lesson somewhere in this, such as the ruby rule "think before you speak." Or, better yet, maybe this can spur the invention of a filtration system that can be surgically installed near the connection between my brain and vocal cords. Whatever it is, I appreciate the individuals around me who continuously help to get myself out of the human pretzel position (as I am no gymnast), and being worth the dissection of prior assertions.
CourtReplies
*Apparently this suffix is incorrect, but I'm using it anyways.
Edit: I've really tried hard to steer clear of big words, really.
Monday, February 8, 2010
Man Vs. Wild.
I'm perched - well, slouched, rather - upon my couch and watching this weeks episode of The Bachelor. I begin to wonder if I'm going about the whole romantic relationship thing wrong. I mean, I haven't choreographed a lyrical dance nor gawkily made wishes on fungi-infested decomposing leaves that I so philanderingly* threw up into the air. Do they really talk like that in real life?
It's that time again - the one where Jake, this season's two-timer, goes home to visit the families of the 4 remaining girls. I'm literally cringing in my seat watching this all unfold; I can't decide whether the whole situation is pathetic or simply dense. Probably a combination of both. Now mind you, I'm no cynic, after all I'm a firm believer in love, but going on a tv show seems a bit absurd, and here are my reasons why. I apologize in advance for my cheekiness.
Firstly, it's awkward. If the stuttering and obsessive tears weren't enough, there has to be a camera in your face to quadruple the nervous ticks. I keep going into Comm. major mode - just watching and studying how the two (whichever girl you'd like to envision with Jake, and yes, they're interchangeable) interact screams of insecurities and discomfort, yet, they're "in love?" I can't handle it.
"Hey!"
"Hello..." says girl, as she runs up and gayly leaps into his arms.
"I'm so happy to be here!"
Now, just imagine that with forced smiles and unease written all over it. Painful, right?
Secondly, where do they find these bachelorettes who aren't even bachelorettes to begin with? Married, going through a divorce, still attached to an ex - a lot of excess baggage that I'm sure no man should have to, nor want to deal with. If it's meant to be, it'll happen in time, and once the papers are final.
Thirdly, everything feels forced. Everything feels coerced to some extent - each date perfectly conspired by a talented love-enthusiastic crew of writers and producers. Because it's completely reasonable to go to Hawaii on a first date, or bungee jumping, or have candles that maintain a perfect flame for 20349824 hours. Their only real conversations are about their troubled past relationships, and how they've been hurt, which adds up to a grand interaction total of 45 minutes. Grow up, get over it, and stop being pitiful.
I almost was going to conclude, before a fourth reason just yelled at me. I don't enjoy watching an hour of a guy saying the same thing repeatedly. Nor do I enjoy watching him make out with each girl, either. The more I think of it, I don't even know why the show's ratings are so high. Maybe people like watching other individuals suffer, because that's basically what it is: a three ring circus of deterioration. If I had to sit back and wait for a guy to decide if he'd rather be with me over 3 other girls, I'd be an utter mess. But then again, I'd never put myself in that situation, nor should anyone, which returns me to the beginning of this post: they're densely pathetic. And that goes to all parties involved.
I'm not sure how I was able to write this much on the topic, as it wasn't even supposed to be up for articulation. However, it is what it is, and I just hope ABC gets slapped in a nice, why-are-you-obscuring-reality kind of way. Thank you for taking my mind off of more important things like scrubbing the floors or cleaning out the litter box.
CourtReplies
* A word made up for argument's sake.
It's that time again - the one where Jake, this season's two-timer, goes home to visit the families of the 4 remaining girls. I'm literally cringing in my seat watching this all unfold; I can't decide whether the whole situation is pathetic or simply dense. Probably a combination of both. Now mind you, I'm no cynic, after all I'm a firm believer in love, but going on a tv show seems a bit absurd, and here are my reasons why. I apologize in advance for my cheekiness.
Firstly, it's awkward. If the stuttering and obsessive tears weren't enough, there has to be a camera in your face to quadruple the nervous ticks. I keep going into Comm. major mode - just watching and studying how the two (whichever girl you'd like to envision with Jake, and yes, they're interchangeable) interact screams of insecurities and discomfort, yet, they're "in love?" I can't handle it.
"Hey!"
"Hello..." says girl, as she runs up and gayly leaps into his arms.
"I'm so happy to be here!"
Now, just imagine that with forced smiles and unease written all over it. Painful, right?
Secondly, where do they find these bachelorettes who aren't even bachelorettes to begin with? Married, going through a divorce, still attached to an ex - a lot of excess baggage that I'm sure no man should have to, nor want to deal with. If it's meant to be, it'll happen in time, and once the papers are final.
Thirdly, everything feels forced. Everything feels coerced to some extent - each date perfectly conspired by a talented love-enthusiastic crew of writers and producers. Because it's completely reasonable to go to Hawaii on a first date, or bungee jumping, or have candles that maintain a perfect flame for 20349824 hours. Their only real conversations are about their troubled past relationships, and how they've been hurt, which adds up to a grand interaction total of 45 minutes. Grow up, get over it, and stop being pitiful.
I almost was going to conclude, before a fourth reason just yelled at me. I don't enjoy watching an hour of a guy saying the same thing repeatedly. Nor do I enjoy watching him make out with each girl, either. The more I think of it, I don't even know why the show's ratings are so high. Maybe people like watching other individuals suffer, because that's basically what it is: a three ring circus of deterioration. If I had to sit back and wait for a guy to decide if he'd rather be with me over 3 other girls, I'd be an utter mess. But then again, I'd never put myself in that situation, nor should anyone, which returns me to the beginning of this post: they're densely pathetic. And that goes to all parties involved.
I'm not sure how I was able to write this much on the topic, as it wasn't even supposed to be up for articulation. However, it is what it is, and I just hope ABC gets slapped in a nice, why-are-you-obscuring-reality kind of way. Thank you for taking my mind off of more important things like scrubbing the floors or cleaning out the litter box.
CourtReplies
* A word made up for argument's sake.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)