Revenge, I Say!

Humanity can always be found reaching; Whether it's for that dream job, dream husband, or the last smidgen of tamale casserole*, the stars never seem quite enough. We consistently binge ourselves of wants, like a typical i'm-an-emotional-wreck-and-can't-get-my-hand-out-of-the-fridge day, and go from one to the next, taking little notice to the effect that each rise and fall brings. Theses wants, though, are vastly different than our true, genuine needs: a God to lean on, and the occasional dirty chai to sip on.

I'm beginning to learn more and more to just what extent I'm really not in control. I'm not in control of where I'm going to be in two weeks, I'm not in control of who I'm going to be with in two years, and I'm certainly not in control of what I'll be wearing tomorrow. As frivolous as it may seem, I find myself yearning to take hold of the reins, and lead Santa's helpers** to where I presume the next stop to be located.

However, as experience shows, houses are missed, presents are not delivered, and a particularly dramatic crash ensues.

Although the metaphor seems somewhat vague, it still rings true. The continuum that the earth runs on is time - seconds, minutes, hours - so comprehension other than that is somewhat of a difficulty. I find it hard to think beyond my ever-so-favorable tunnel vision, and catch myself aching to make things happen, my way, and in my time.

Even when I think I'm doing something that breathes right, something that feels right, something that looks right - it could still be wrong. A couple of months ago I wouldn't have understood. I would have found myself teething in resentment, anger, and left with a bitter heart. But now, I have been blessed with a sort of comprehension; I can look at each situation with open, trusting eyes.

It's not easy.

But that's when grace steps in.

I'm growing, and I'm continually reassured in the most simplistic of instances. Once I would have overlooked them, yet on this date I cherish them.

I was told simply to "be at peace" the other morning, and I accepted it. Nine hours later, and I'm attacked, wherein which I realized these words of wisdom were obviously preparing myself for what was to come.

I understood.

And in that I find total contentment.

My Father is teaching me, and slowly but surely, as any worldly individual, I'm catching on - and rejoicing in it.

Welcome to the Chai Factor.

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*Whatever you do, don't set the casserole in front of you.
**I'm ready for winter when you are, God. Hint, hint.