Introducing, The Prowl.

As I'm staring at my computer screen, disobediently ignoring the massive amount of reading that has piled up just from today alone, I can't help but to introduce myself into the profound world of blogging. Hi, I'm CourtReplies, and I'm a college sejunior (in between a junior and a senior), nice to meet you. Now, let's get to the point.

I understand like. I understand lust. There are a lot of emotions that I wholeheartedly appreciate, recognize, comprehend, and have come to know. However, the remorseful attribute I have somehow absentmindedly acquired through genetics limits my boundless-track mind down to a sole concept: the ideology of love.

Love is a powerful emotion, yes. Can it make people do some crazy things? That’s obvious. Have I ever truly grasped the notion of this all encompassing and frivolous sensation? No. The matter is, is that I am very immature when it comes to the fact that, life just isn't fair. Too many significant others have come and gone with sad sob stories and bountiful reasons for me to count love out of my life, and off my mind. Yet it seems as though I can't.

My life has never been perfect, nor would I ever claim such a thing. Moreover, my love life has never been anything short of ‘nail-on-chalkboard’ dreadful, leaving me at wits end scurrying to find the next replacement. The problem with women, is, and myself undoubtedly included, is the ongoing search for the perfect man - the prowl, as I would like to call it. I feel unwanted, undesired, unwholesome, and a plethora of additional un- words when unattached or deemed single-girl status. For example, it feels great when you have a seemingly successful man send you an email like,

“I do love you, [CourtReplies]. I love you just like I love my family in that, I would do anything and everything to make sure that they, and you, were safe, happy, taken care of, and loved. I do love you. So, so much. Just like I would for them, I would lay my life on the line for you. What would people do if you died? I can't speak for anyone else, but I would never be the same. And I've only known you for, what, 9 months? I know my heart, and I know the difference between a passing fancy and true, genuine love. I genuinely, wholeheartedly love you.”

As real as this tidbit can get (and mind you, it is a real message), I cringe at the mere thought that I just had to fix a horrid amount of simple spelling and grammatical errors within those 10 heartfelt sentences. My syntactic perfectionism lead this relationship into the ground, not even alluding to his age and superior status. But, for the sake of upholding my good-person reputation, I will allude no more.

Therefore, with that being said, I can't help but realize a simple factual notion: things change, people change. Events change; life in general changes. I then find myself asking the question that is in every way familiar to all: why? Why must we strive for that feeling of acceptance and deep compassion throughout life's ups and downs? Furthermore, once we have it, why are we so easily persuaded to give it away?

I suppose that's what love is - and that's when you know you've got it. The admiration and desire for inclusion amongst their lives, the fight to keep it, and the desire of never letting go - not to mention proper linguistic skills. Love is all encompassing, truly. I just have yet to find it.


Proverbs 16:9,
CourtReplies.